His mind already started working through all the things he could say to make it better. How nothing will change. He didn't want anything from Jim. Not... not really. Just being friends with him was enough. He didn't have to have anything else. He'd survived years with just that. It was fine... right?
Except he didn't know how to make that tight pain in his chest go away. What if this never would be okay again? Leonard thought for the first time in his life he was on the verge of an honest to god panic attack of all things. Brow furrowing, he searched Jim's face still trying to figure out what to say when a smile started to form on his face. Blinking a few times, he felt a little numb around the edges as it morphed slowly into a grin that felt far too warm and looked too beautiful to have him panic just yet. Instead he felt... stunned. Like the ground under him became too soft and threw him off balance.
Then it went and spun right outta axis when Jim leaned closer to kiss him like that. Every thought in his head came to an utter and abrupt stop when Jim's lips found his and for one dumb second, Leonard was too stunned to respond. No amount of predictin' prepared him for this. Nothing could even begin to make him expect for Jim to...
The hows and whys didn't matter, damn it. It was just that it was. And he'd be damned if he let this moment happen without him responding. The hands resting against Jim's neck moved, one curling into the hair at the back of his head while the other cupped the side of his face. Pressing into the kiss finally, he made sure to kiss him for all he was worth. If this were the first and last kiss he ever got from Jim, he would damn well make it count.
But he did finally pull away, licking his lips to chase the taste of Jim against them before he tried to pull his mind back together from the melted mess Jim just put him in. "Jim... I'm serious now... This... tell me this isn't you just tryin' to make me feel better." Because it was possible. It was possible even if he prayed with all his might against it. He didn't want Jim to do things just to make him happy.
no subject
Except he didn't know how to make that tight pain in his chest go away. What if this never would be okay again? Leonard thought for the first time in his life he was on the verge of an honest to god panic attack of all things. Brow furrowing, he searched Jim's face still trying to figure out what to say when a smile started to form on his face. Blinking a few times, he felt a little numb around the edges as it morphed slowly into a grin that felt far too warm and looked too beautiful to have him panic just yet. Instead he felt... stunned. Like the ground under him became too soft and threw him off balance.
Then it went and spun right outta axis when Jim leaned closer to kiss him like that. Every thought in his head came to an utter and abrupt stop when Jim's lips found his and for one dumb second, Leonard was too stunned to respond. No amount of predictin' prepared him for this. Nothing could even begin to make him expect for Jim to...
The hows and whys didn't matter, damn it. It was just that it was. And he'd be damned if he let this moment happen without him responding. The hands resting against Jim's neck moved, one curling into the hair at the back of his head while the other cupped the side of his face. Pressing into the kiss finally, he made sure to kiss him for all he was worth. If this were the first and last kiss he ever got from Jim, he would damn well make it count.
But he did finally pull away, licking his lips to chase the taste of Jim against them before he tried to pull his mind back together from the melted mess Jim just put him in. "Jim... I'm serious now... This... tell me this isn't you just tryin' to make me feel better." Because it was possible. It was possible even if he prayed with all his might against it. He didn't want Jim to do things just to make him happy.